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A Travel Tale in Sections, and No Particular Order: Part the First
Norway and Spain were wonderful. The only downside being the vicious and wrong-looking mosquito bites I got in Spain. I will later write about the wonderful, but right now I have to vent about the infuriating that came after. What follows is a dramatisation based on a true story:
ME: Hello pharmacist, do you have anything better for these bites than what I have already?
PHARMACIST: You have the Evil Itchy Bites of Doom! You must go to Casualty immediately. Those bites may be so poisonous that you cannot travel!
ME: Eeeep! OK.
ME: Hello workmates. I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom. Can someone please take me to Casualty?
KIRSTY: I will take you.
ME: You are a goddess among women.
ME: Hello Nurse-at-Casualty. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom.
NURSE-AT-CASUALTY: You have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom that can lead to blood-poisoning. You will DIE if you do not immediately have antibiotics, which I am not sure we have.
ME: OK. Should I just call my GP?
N-A-C: We have no doctors here. But our prescribing nurse can prescribe the antibiotics. You should go to the Waiting room. There is about a one hour wait.
ME: ...ok?
ME: I so should have bought a sandwich.
KIRSTY: I will bring you one when I come back to get you.
ME: You are truly a goddess among women!
N-A-C: We have no antibiotics.
ME: So... I should just have called my GP then.
N-A-C: We did say we may not have them! I will call your GP!
N-A-C (on phone): Can I please have the number for the Riverside Surgery?
ME: I have the number.
N-A-C: I will call them!
N-A-C: You need to be at the surgery before 4.50. You must have antibiotics in the next 6 hours or you will DIE!
ME: ...OK. So if you I leave work about 4.15, I should be there in time...
N-A-C: No! You must tell your work that you are not coming back today and go to the surgery immediately, or you will DIE!
ME: ...ok?
ME: Hello, Riverside Surgery. I think you just spoke to a woman in Chippenham. Are you closing at 5, or do I have an appointment at 4.50, because she seemed to think I should get to the surgery straight away.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then.
ME: OK, she just seemed to think I should get there very urgently. I think it's just a quick prescription.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then and the doctor will want to see you.
ME: ...ok.
ME: Ummm, the 4.15 train is running late. I think I may be late for my appointment.
LOVELY BOSS: I will drive you. I can go home to Bristol and work from home for the rest of the afternoon.
ME: You are also a goddess among women!
ME: Hello Nice Doctor. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom, and must immediately have antibiotics, or I will die?
NICE DOCTOR: Nope. They're just kinda manky. You know, I could have done this over the phone and saved you the trouble.
ME: *cries*
I promise I will write about the wonderful tomorrow. There may even be pictures.
ME: Hello pharmacist, do you have anything better for these bites than what I have already?
PHARMACIST: You have the Evil Itchy Bites of Doom! You must go to Casualty immediately. Those bites may be so poisonous that you cannot travel!
ME: Eeeep! OK.
ME: Hello workmates. I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom. Can someone please take me to Casualty?
KIRSTY: I will take you.
ME: You are a goddess among women.
ME: Hello Nurse-at-Casualty. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom.
NURSE-AT-CASUALTY: You have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom that can lead to blood-poisoning. You will DIE if you do not immediately have antibiotics, which I am not sure we have.
ME: OK. Should I just call my GP?
N-A-C: We have no doctors here. But our prescribing nurse can prescribe the antibiotics. You should go to the Waiting room. There is about a one hour wait.
ME: ...ok?
ME: I so should have bought a sandwich.
KIRSTY: I will bring you one when I come back to get you.
ME: You are truly a goddess among women!
N-A-C: We have no antibiotics.
ME: So... I should just have called my GP then.
N-A-C: We did say we may not have them! I will call your GP!
N-A-C (on phone): Can I please have the number for the Riverside Surgery?
ME: I have the number.
N-A-C: I will call them!
N-A-C: You need to be at the surgery before 4.50. You must have antibiotics in the next 6 hours or you will DIE!
ME: ...OK. So if you I leave work about 4.15, I should be there in time...
N-A-C: No! You must tell your work that you are not coming back today and go to the surgery immediately, or you will DIE!
ME: ...ok?
ME: Hello, Riverside Surgery. I think you just spoke to a woman in Chippenham. Are you closing at 5, or do I have an appointment at 4.50, because she seemed to think I should get to the surgery straight away.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then.
ME: OK, she just seemed to think I should get there very urgently. I think it's just a quick prescription.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then and the doctor will want to see you.
ME: ...ok.
ME: Ummm, the 4.15 train is running late. I think I may be late for my appointment.
LOVELY BOSS: I will drive you. I can go home to Bristol and work from home for the rest of the afternoon.
ME: You are also a goddess among women!
ME: Hello Nice Doctor. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom, and must immediately have antibiotics, or I will die?
NICE DOCTOR: Nope. They're just kinda manky. You know, I could have done this over the phone and saved you the trouble.
ME: *cries*
I promise I will write about the wonderful tomorrow. There may even be pictures.
But I haven't mentioned Anna Nalick in aaaaaaages!
I can't wait to see the good stuff!
Re: But I haven't mentioned Anna Nalick in aaaaaaages!
Do your running friends often suffer from Evil Itchy Bites of Doom? You really should have known that a whinge that epic pretty much had to be me!
When I say "tomorrow", I mean tonight, my time. I'm pretty sure work would not be too thrilled with me writing up my holiday for LJ on work time. Particularly with the amount of not-actually-holiday time I am spending out of the office this week. (Monday was a public holiday, I was only really around for half of yesterday, and I bugger off about 12 on Friday. I love it when your work needs you so bad they can't really say no to you. :o)
Re: But I haven't mentioned Anna Nalick in aaaaaaages!
People on my runners community have all sorts of whinges so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.
Yay to have the power of being needed!
Re: But I haven't mentioned Anna Nalick in aaaaaaages!
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I'd got home at 2am that morning, and then been in to work for 8.30. And Flatmate had eaten all the bread, so I couldn't have breakfast - that sandwich was all I'd had to eat. These women kept on about how terrible it all was, by the time I got to the doctor I was trying hard not to freak out. So you can imagine how productive I was all day. Lovely Boss got caught out, because working from home she ended up working till 8.30.
And don't even get me started on the guy who snagged me at the supermarket trying to promote some wonderful new credit card and held me up just long enough that I missed the bus and had to walk home up the Hill of Puffing Death with the groceries. Frankly, it's a miracle nobody died yesterday.
Onwards and upwards. Tonight I will post some pictures and some ramblings of travels, and do some packing for the next round (armed with antibiotics and the most hard-core insect repellent known to man). :o)