The World Spins Madly On

Wow, 2011, huh? I guess this means it's time for my Annual Review of Life.

( The year that was )

Which brings me to ( next year )

The soundtrack for this post is Beautiful Freak by Eels. (Partly because it's not that long since I posted the vid for Raise Your Glass.) I couldn't find a decent vid, so I've gone for the minimalist option.

Bingo. One mouse corpse, surrounded by what I presume are fly cocoons. Although if you think I am going to google fly reproduction to check, I advise you to rethink your position.

I cannot express to you how grossed out I am. I intend to check under the bed as well, just in case. *shudder*

So that's my Sunday. How are you doing?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I just realised I haven't posted anything but memes in the last two weeks. Oops.

So, in new news, I has a Mum! OK, that sounds a little weird - I have always had a Mum. But as of last Sunday I have a Mum at my house, instead of in NZ. Tomorrow we are off for a long weekend in Normandy. After that I'm doing three days at the office, and then I'm off to Provence for THREE WHOLE GLORIOUS WEEKS. Normandy is supposed to be pretty damp. Marseille. However, is reporting 30 degrees and blazing sunshine.

She is already working on plans to make my garden easier to maintain, and has been feeding me sumptuous dinners. Om nom nom nom.

Last week I went climbing again. I managed mostly 5Bs this time, and the couple of 5As I did should have been rated 5B. FYI, 5As are not supposed to run out of handholds 2/3s of the way up! This week I have been dancing (hop turns - OMG the LULZ of me trying to do them!) and swimming. I managed 14 lengths this week, over the 10 I did las time. Sadly the cute lifeguard was not on duty last night. I'm not sure if I will be able to get much exercise in next week, but I figure all the walking we'll do in the name of tourism over the next 4 weeks should count.

In work news, BossBoss "has been very busy", and thus unable to respond to any of the questions I asked in my appraisal back in MAY. I have emailed him to ask him to have it ready for me when I get back from hols, and have asked a workmate to come with me to a meeting with him to get it all sorted. I feel kind of bad involving her, because it's not really her job, and I could try a couple more pushes without her. But I don't really care anymore if it's overkill, or if he feels stink because I've made him look bad in front of someone else. I generally try and avoid that, because I'm still going to have to work with him afterwards, but I'm tired of not knowing what's going on. I may or may not have a bonus, but I'm not sure when it's payable, or exactly what I have to do to get it. I have been in role for a year and a half. So I figure it's not me making him look bad.

So, that's where I'm at. What are you doing right now, apart from reading your f-list?

Don't laugh. It's not something I'm good at. So I'm trying to find things about which to be cheery.

I will start with yesterday, because you can't tell about a day until the end of it.

One of the women at work is looking after me. After I was pretty wobbly the other week, she has been looking out for me, and when management were dicks about something she was furious. People have been sympathetic, but there's something really... something about having someone be really angry on your behalf.

Yesterday I went swimming for the first time in ages. The University pool is SO MUCH nicer than the one in town. No excessive reek of ammonia, no little old ladies puttering up and down the lanes, no small children getting in the way. I only managed 10 laps of the 50m pool, but considering how unfit I am at the moment that's not bad going. (Although I am feeling my biceps and triceps today. Hoo boy!) Also, when I took a wee break part way through, the nice young uni student lifeguard was flirting with me before I even sat down. That'll really brighten a girl's day.

Also, Spider is a free arachnid! That won't mean anything to most of you, but being happy for someone else totally counts.

My new couch has arrived, and is comfy, and means there is more room for people to sit. All of these are good things.

Unfortunately it is a bit bigger than I thought. So far I am on Arrangement Plan C, which has the advantage over Plans A and B, in that it fits, but is still... less than ideal.

I may to rethink the layout of my whole front room. Still, soooooo comfy!

Sunday was a pretty cheery sort of a day. I had a nice sleep in, got up about 10.30 and, sat there in a patch of morning sunshine with my coffee, decided it was a good day for a barbeque.

There was the odd moment of chaos. When I moved house I dismantled my little bbq (charcoal), and I suddenly realised I had no idea where the bolts were. V and I both hunted all over the house, with V double checking where I'd looked in case I'd missed them, all to no avail. So I rang a neighbour and asked if I could borrow theirs, turned around and promptly saw the pile of nuts and bolts on the shelf over the computer. Go me. :o)

For vegetarian-friendly barbequeing I recommend stuffed mushrooms:

Large cup mushrooms
Blue cheese
Pine nuts

Pop the stalks out of the mushrooms, chop the stalks finely and put in a bowl.
Chop/crumble the cheese finely, add to bowl. Chop pine nuts and add to bowl.
Mix and spoon back into mushrooms.
Mushrooms then go straight on the barbie until kind of wrinkly.
Eat.

For a non-vege option, chuck in little bits of fried bacon.

In less cheery news, after everyone had gone home I got a call from my Mum. My grandfather has been pretty poorly with the flu for a few weeks now (having been in a residential hospital for 2-3 years). He developed pneumonia which has not responded to antibiotics, so he's now on morphine to see him through to the end. I'm finding it very weird. It's sad, but in a lot of ways I can't help but feel it's for the best.

( Cut for pointless maudlin reflection )

I know that some of you know and love your spreadsheets, but mine are sprawling and large and numerous and I don't know how to make them do what I want.

I will be getting Excel training soon, but that doesn't help me now so I thought I'd ask you guys, since you're a clever bunch.

I need to run a mail merge. I have a spreadsheet of dealer addresses, and I have a list of people who are attending my event. I am trying to find a way of getting information from each spreadsheet together (delegate details from one and address details from the other) so I can run a mail merge from one document. I know that you can do data pickups, but I don't know how, and I don't know what the parameters are in terms of what I can and can't make it do.

Please help!

The seige has now entered week 4.

The weekend brought a visit by relief forces from Oxford, but they moved on on Sunday, leaving us well fed, and having drunk much wine and seen the movie Beowulf.

Monday morning saw a return to a state of warfare. As I suspected, the SmetricTest Gremlins were gathering their forces, but we have successfully quashed them. I have recommended that we raze their territories so that they cannot rise again, but my superiors insist that this will be detrimental to our recovery in the long run.

In the afternoon it looked as though Scheduwolves were preparing an attack. Fortunately, it turned out to be merely a feint, and was easily repelled, but the troops are greatly disheartened. I am concerned, however as these Scheduwolves came from the territories of a possible ally. We are expecting a delegation from them on Thursday. We will see.

Scheduwolves from other territories have been circling for some time. I expect an attach in the morning.

Most alarming are the intelligence reports which came through this morning confirming a formidable gathering of Proofing Zombies. The assault is imminent, and I fear we may be overwhelmed.

Norway and Spain were wonderful. The only downside being the vicious and wrong-looking mosquito bites I got in Spain. I will later write about the wonderful, but right now I have to vent about the infuriating that came after. What follows is a dramatisation based on a true story:

ME: Hello pharmacist, do you have anything better for these bites than what I have already?
PHARMACIST: You have the Evil Itchy Bites of Doom! You must go to Casualty immediately. Those bites may be so poisonous that you cannot travel!
ME: Eeeep! OK.

ME: Hello workmates. I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom. Can someone please take me to Casualty?
KIRSTY: I will take you.
ME: You are a goddess among women.

ME: Hello Nurse-at-Casualty. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom.
NURSE-AT-CASUALTY: You have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom that can lead to blood-poisoning. You will DIE if you do not immediately have antibiotics, which I am not sure we have.
ME: OK. Should I just call my GP?
N-A-C: We have no doctors here. But our prescribing nurse can prescribe the antibiotics. You should go to the Waiting room. There is about a one hour wait.
ME: ...ok?

ME: I so should have bought a sandwich.
KIRSTY: I will bring you one when I come back to get you.
ME: You are truly a goddess among women!

N-A-C: We have no antibiotics.
ME: So... I should just have called my GP then.
N-A-C: We did say we may not have them! I will call your GP!
N-A-C (on phone): Can I please have the number for the Riverside Surgery?
ME: I have the number.
N-A-C: I will call them!

N-A-C: You need to be at the surgery before 4.50. You must have antibiotics in the next 6 hours or you will DIE!
ME: ...OK. So if you I leave work about 4.15, I should be there in time...
N-A-C: No! You must tell your work that you are not coming back today and go to the surgery immediately, or you will DIE!
ME: ...ok?

ME: Hello, Riverside Surgery. I think you just spoke to a woman in Chippenham. Are you closing at 5, or do I have an appointment at 4.50, because she seemed to think I should get to the surgery straight away.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then.
ME: OK, she just seemed to think I should get there very urgently. I think it's just a quick prescription.
RECEPTIONIST: No, you have an appointment at 4.50. We cannot see you before then and the doctor will want to see you.
ME: ...ok.

ME: Ummm, the 4.15 train is running late. I think I may be late for my appointment.
LOVELY BOSS: I will drive you. I can go home to Bristol and work from home for the rest of the afternoon.
ME: You are also a goddess among women!

ME: Hello Nice Doctor. Apparently I have Evil Itchy Bites of Doom, and must immediately have antibiotics, or I will die?
NICE DOCTOR: Nope. They're just kinda manky. You know, I could have done this over the phone and saved you the trouble.
ME: *cries*

I promise I will write about the wonderful tomorrow. There may even be pictures.

It's all a bit up and down at the moment.

Overall, work is insane - even more so than usual. My sort of opposite number has been seconded to the Learning and Development Team, to develop e-learning websites for us. This is great for him, as it's an area he was really keen to get into. Unfortunately that leaves me as the only person on the team who is familiar with his job. So we've had a series of temps in, and I monitor everything that both roles are responsible for, and delegate like blazes.

So let me tell you about the temps. There was the very nice but fairly ineffectual lady who (we have just discovered) did a load of data entry wrong so six weeks worth has to be done again. Or how about the girl didn't show up on Monday? Even though she had an interview with us for the position.

Actually the last couple of days have gone pretty well. Which only serves to make me afraid. Phrases like, "the calm before the storm" and "It's quiet. Too quiet" keep running through my brain. I feel very aware that I have too many things on the go all at once to keep track of them properly. A bit like when you're buildong a house of cards, and you know it's too high - even though it's not falling down yet, you know that all it will take is for someone across the room to close the door too hard and it's all over, red rover.

But what the hell. Everyone knows it's a danger and I'm doing my best. I will be mightily relieved when we've got someone in role, though!

On an entirely different note, Mr and Mrs Huggy-Buggy are coming to visit this weekend. Hurrah! It will be great to see them again. And the lovely TP (I hope I'm referring to the same person I think everyone else is referring to that way!) is heading my way very soon also.

And I have holidays coming up! Oh glorious holidays! I will spend 5 days in Bergen in Norway, where I will catch up with one of my lovely boys from Wellington and probably see fjords! (I mean that absolutely literally, so get your filthy mind out of the gutter!) Then I will pick up a different Wellington friend, Jenny, and visit my cousin in Spain for the long weekend. Then back at work for a couple of days (boy I hope they're properly staffed by then!) and then Jenny and I are doing a week-long tour of Turkey.

I be so busy! Mainlining dark chocolate before 9am is an effective (if maybe not so terribly healthy) way of coping with it all.

Dark chocolate is the way forward.