Saturday morning torture

My tone-deaf neighbour is singing along to what seems to be about three songs on rotation. One of them is the theme song from Baywatch.

Woe.

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time

I came late to the scene, but I can picture the beginning:

"You know what?" says Mother, "Instead of going into town and buying those stupid paper bags we have to put garden waste in for the council to take it away, we should just have a bonfire!"

"That's brilliant Mum!", says Daughter. "But where will have the bonfire? We can't have it on the back lawn, because the grass will go black."

"You're right. We'll do it out the front."

"But what if we need to use the car while the fire is burning?"

"Hmmm. We will have it to one side!"

"Mum, you're so smart."

And so they light their fire, feeding it with waste from the garden until it is burning away merrily. A little too merrily, perhaps. In fact, so merrily that it sets fire to the TREE THEY LIT IT UNDER.



Said tree, being a macrocarpa/cypress sort of thing and fairly, dry goes up like a candle. Fortunately there was nothing else for it to catch to, and it burnt itself out pretty quickly. People. Oh my God.